One of the most common questions that female Tantra practitioners get is: Do you offer Goddess Worship? Hmmm….what exactly does this mean? My sister Ajna’s clever response is: Goddess worship is serving the Goddess in exactly the way she desires to be served. I tend to agree.
Unfortunately, this beautiful phrase has been usurped by hobbyists in sex work community to mean yoni worship, otherwise known as cunnilingus. That’s a pretty intimate act. As you can imagine, for most women to truly enjoy this, they need to be completely relaxed and trust the person providing it. Additionally, for those who practice classical Tantra, there are much deeper implications of Goddess worship that I’ll save for another post.
In my opinion, the rewards of this honor can rarely be achieved in a 1-2 hour session, a first meeting, or when the man has an intense desire for this specific act and is willing to do it indiscriminately with any woman to fulfill his own needs. There’s nothing honoring about that.
I don’t shame this desire in the slightest. I’m a big fan of both giving and receiving cunnilingus. But with very rare exception, am I open to receiving this from a stranger, or anyone who can’t demonstrate total embodied devotion.
My desire is for this term “Goddess Worship” to return to its honorable intention. If you are a seeker, instead of asking her if she offers this service, which perpetuates confusion and annoyance, ask her “Is there any way I can serve you? Would you enjoy receiving any type of touch, gifts, or acts of service from me?”
I assure you this will endear you to your practitioner, and while I am in no way suggesting that by using this approach you will make her so happy that she will offer her yoni to your mouth, but inevitably it does increase your odds of this happening at some point with some practitioners.
It’s also important to respect that many practitioners uphold strict boundaries around certain acts for good reason. They aren’t trying to block you from your heart’s desire, they are often protecting themselves from being more vulnerable to STIs, preventing emotional attachment issues, or upholding their relationship agreements with their partners.
So, if your practitioner denies your request, please don’t take it personally. Obviously, you can just choose a practitioner that does offer this gift. But I also urge you to question your agenda. Why are you fixated on this act? Are you objectifying yonis in an obsessive way instead of actually respecting the powerful flesh that they are? Is it about control? Or forcing a women to lose control? Sometimes it is the ego hit of being able to provide an orgasm. And perhaps it is just something you enjoy thoroughly, or all of the above.
Remember that Tantra practitioners are there to help you experience new aspects of sensuality. We are there to help you break patterns and habits that have held your full ecstatic potential hostage. Considering releasing control, dropping your agenda and showing up to truly worship the Goddess in a way she desires.
**One of the ways I enjoy being worshiped is with a foot bath and foot massage. I’m now offering this as a luxurious addition to any session ($100 for 30mins). I also love receiving organic chocolate, berries, beautifully scented natural soy candles, bottles of champagne, pinot noir and fresh juice, as well as Amazon gift certificates to fuel my love of books.**
